A Library Of Living Life.

Aaaaand Christmas is over. Not that I am actually excited about it being over, but I think it is time to move on with the rest of the year. Why so Not Christmasy? Well, lately Christmas has just been a big reminder that I am the different one in the family. We all get together for Christmas and when we are doing presents it is just so obvious that I am "different." Mom: Okay, Jeff, Tyler, and Nick outside to the garage. *They get up and go outside with Dad, and eyes shift to me* I am not sitting in the livingroom with all the girls, just the girls. *Enter the boys* Tyler: Dude, Dad got us all extension ladders!! Dad: And for my boys, here is some smoked goose jerky. *Hands Jeff and Tyler goose jerky* And it's not that I have use for an extension ladder, I mean I live in an apartment that all the maintenance is taken care of, but it would be nice to be recognized still as a son. Even though I know important skin care, how to apply makeup, fashion, and the latest in celebri

Sometimes I look at myself and think "Is there any way I could be any more messed up?" And then I look at the other gays here in town, and I realize how normal I am. And what a blessing it is to know that I am not nearly as crazy or as big of a mess as half of the community. I may have mommy issues every now and again, but nothing like I have been seeing all over facebook lately. Exhibit A: MOM-You've been invited here but...can't make you do anything you don't want to do. SON-I dont want to go after reading urs and kevens convo on chat. MOM-Okay. Fine. It's just fine. But I'll just say this. You need to get over yourself. Uninvite yourself it you want to, and be alone for Christmas. Just whatever! Truth hurts, doesn't it. Well truth doesn't hurt NEAR what lies hurt. SON-Ya. It hurts. I can play this stupid game mom. MOM-I don't play games. Goodnight, ________. It's bedtime for me. SON-Me too. I HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING. MOM-Go

Gosh I am just so adorable! Finals are OVER!!! Woot! passed 4 classes with A's and definitely got a B in Language Development. Ugh. BUT I got that last word with Diane. Ha!! Call me a little dramatic, but during the final, I ended up walking out because it was just SO ridiculous. I didn't finish the test, left the last two pages blank and gave her a piece of my mind. Of course she had an in class final (after testing us online for the whole semester) and it was paper and pencil. Awful. In the last section of the test.... Diane, I just wanted to thank you for giving us a piece of shit "study guide," if you can call it that. Not only was it a worthless outline of the class, but it send myself and several other students into a downward spiral. It would have been nice to have some direction, and hopefully, if you continue teach at Idaho State, you will learn to develop a true study guide to aid students in finding their way through the material. Not only was I and my fell

There are so many times in my day that I feel like I would fit right in with these people :)

NOW that the negativity is out of my system.... THE SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVER!!! Huzzah and break will begin and I will get to celebrate the holidays :) I cannot wait. My lovely home is decorated. Put up the tree, garland and delicious candles! Tonight is just gonna be a night all about me and relaxation. Got my a bottle of my favorite drink, Mariah Carey's Christmas album, the Christmas tree is lit, got the comfy red plaid pjs on, and have a blanket to cuddle up in and drift happily into sleep. I am just waiting for the snow to come, and then it will finally feel like Christmas. But for now, my tree and festive red sweaters will have to do.

Getting ready for this semester to be over. . . Let me rephrase that, I'm ready for this semester to be over. I dunno if I can say that enough. Although I want the semester to be over, I don't want my need to go to campus to be over. That is the only interaction with people that I get, other than Deleta and children. Ya I know, I am getting lonely again. It's terrible because I realize that I am lonely, but I can't do much about it at the moment. It always happens around finals week, which is terrible because I WANT social interaction, but I NEED to stay in and study. As of late, I just want to have someone here with me. I am done wanting a boyfriend, or semi-romantic partner, I just want a friend. A friend to sit with and just talk about everything. This time a genuine friend. The recent friends I have been making seem to only want one thing. . . We hang out once and they automatically think that I wanna make out with them. No. I actually don't. I would like to, yo

I still have to register for 5 more credits for next semester... Motivation Level : _______