More Snow!! *While Shaking Fists*
What a week it has already turned out to be. Everytime I make a step towards productivity, I happen to draw the "Back 2 Spaces" card in this game of life. I seem to be doing more damage than I am good. How can something with good intensions turn out so bad? I hope this is not something I will be accustomed to.
I am bad with words, let's just say that. I cannot get the correct words out to help define how I am feeling or what I truely want to say. I am stuck with the traditional 6th Grade-Male-From-Iowa vocabulary. I am always getting my words mixed up and they are always being taken wrong. How to fix this? I dunno. I thought I was pretty exposed to different ways of expressing myself in words, guess not.
Sometimes I think Jeffrey gets super annoyed with me. I am OCD in so many ways...The dishes must be done before I go to bed...I have to sleep with a fitted sheet AND a regualr sheet...I am constantly sweeping the kitchen floor...if it gets too hot in the apartment, I cannot sleep. I am working on all of these. I don't want him to have to put with it all. I am full of inconveniences. I work all the time. I take shifts on my days off. School and work are trumps in my life. I am focused on MY schooling and MY life goals...not ours. Do I hold myself on such a tall pedistal that I cannot see past my own ignorance?
I hope everything that has been going wrong is the worst it will get. I don't like being full of complaints, but lately all I have inside me are complaints. I should be thinking of the things I am most thankful for instead. Counting all the things in my life that make it better. I cannot seem to do things correctly, of if I do, I cannot get the important things to last.
*Swips card from pile* Back 5 Spaces, Do Not Collect A Life Tile.
I am bad with words, let's just say that. I cannot get the correct words out to help define how I am feeling or what I truely want to say. I am stuck with the traditional 6th Grade-Male-From-Iowa vocabulary. I am always getting my words mixed up and they are always being taken wrong. How to fix this? I dunno. I thought I was pretty exposed to different ways of expressing myself in words, guess not.
Sometimes I think Jeffrey gets super annoyed with me. I am OCD in so many ways...The dishes must be done before I go to bed...I have to sleep with a fitted sheet AND a regualr sheet...I am constantly sweeping the kitchen floor...if it gets too hot in the apartment, I cannot sleep. I am working on all of these. I don't want him to have to put with it all. I am full of inconveniences. I work all the time. I take shifts on my days off. School and work are trumps in my life. I am focused on MY schooling and MY life goals...not ours. Do I hold myself on such a tall pedistal that I cannot see past my own ignorance?
I hope everything that has been going wrong is the worst it will get. I don't like being full of complaints, but lately all I have inside me are complaints. I should be thinking of the things I am most thankful for instead. Counting all the things in my life that make it better. I cannot seem to do things correctly, of if I do, I cannot get the important things to last.
*Swips card from pile* Back 5 Spaces, Do Not Collect A Life Tile.
Deep breaths.
ReplyDeleteThe things you named are not what I would call inconveniences. You have to realize that this time of you life is going to be super crazy, and you both need to adjust to it. You'll make it through. It won't always be school and work, 24/7.
Cleaning and sleeping arrangements a re not inconveniences. They are quirks. ;)
I love you! It's okay to complain every once in a while. Life gets stressful. We all understand, and love you no matter what.
Or at least I do. And I'm the only one who matters... ;)
You're being the epitome of a responsible adult...
ReplyDeleteAll of those nitpicky things are stuff that he'll be thankful for in the long run.
Being tidy and clean will keep both of your stress and irritation levels calm.
And in a week or so, you'll have plenty of time to spend with him...once this nuisance known as school takes a nice long break
:)
I know exactly what you're talking about, so you indeed do express yourself very well. Just know that you are an AMAZING young man Jake, and anyone should count themselves VERY lucky to have you!
ReplyDelete