A Library Of Living Life.

2 things that muy annoy me while I'm biking. 1. Cars that go alllll the way into the other lane to pass me. Really? Why do cars have to create an extra 13 feet between us? Even when I am in a bike lane, people refuse to drive in the lane next to me. I would rather people drive right next to me. So close that I can feel the wind from the rear view mirrors as the pass me. I take up less than 2 feet while on my bike, so a car and me on my bike have plenty of room to accompany a single lane. 2. People in cars don't realize that I can move just as fast on my bike as they can in a car. The better part of this is people are utterly shocked when they yell at me from their car and I speed up and am riding right next to them. STORY: While riding my bike over the overpass a car of girls scream something at me (couldn't understand what they were saying). The best part of this is when  they are waiting at the stoplight at the bottom of the overpass and I pull up right next to them. ...

How is it that a person can just make an appearance and I can completely collapse? All those months of building myself up and being strong have been wasted. I am back to where I started and it is frustrating. I allowed myself to be seen. Vulnerably seen only to be shut out again. I thought I could handle it. Just focus on all the previous hurt and I should be fine. But the second the door opens, all my walls of defense fall down and I turn into a child. Sometimes I really dislike my ability to completely turn off my feelings. (Yes I know I say I can do it, but I really can't) It's a very mad world we live in. One day I will understand.

Remember when Myspace was huge and the coolest thing ever?! I was looking at my Myspace from ages ago and I ran across something I miss. Remember those questionnaires that you would spend hours filling out. The questionnaires that had 100 questions and asked the most ridiculous things. Pointless, yet addicting....AND I found another one of those...I guess it is time to give you all some information about me, pointless information. 1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? **The closet door must remain open so I can see in there at any point during the night. 2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? ** Yes I do. I use them, and then refill them so I can use them for traveling 3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in our out? ** My sheets must be tucked in at the foot of the bed and on the left side. 4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? ** Yes, I have acquired a stop sign, yield sign, and speed limit sign. 5. Do you like to u...

I was looking through my photos on FB the other day and I came across this one... It is PERFECT. This photo describes my whole family.  We are so dysfunctional and extremely crazy.  We are a mess of a family. So many problems and so many things wrong with us. But I wouldn't change a single person in the family.  We are all so unique in our own ways that it makes us perfect. For those of you that don't know my family, lemme explain. Natalie is fighting with Jordyn... Jeremy is whispering something to Jodryn to make her wanna not hold still...Corbin is in his own little world doing whatever he does...Amanda is watching Natalie struggle and laughing because she knows what it is like to raise a little girl...Kayleigh just watches....Tyler looking at something only God knows what...Hilairy and Jessica are obsessing over me because we are all so alike...Jeff is oblivious to what is going on...Jamaal hides his face because he hates taking photos...

I am filled with the greatest amount of rage.  Not the kind of rage one gets when drinking massive amounts of alcohol  and listening to some kind of krunk music.  Rather the rage one feels as they are ready to slash tires, key a vehicle, throw bricks through windows, dump sugar in  gas tanks, or waterballoon cars with paint thinner. (I am proud to say, I did not do any of the above tasks) I do believe I should say that I do not have any kind  of personality disorder, or cognitive impairment. I am not  Bipolar. I am not in a depression. Nor am I sick in any way. Just thought I would clear that up. It may appear  that I am a tad bit unstable based on my frequent extreme happy and enthusiastic posts followed by extreme sad  and dark posts. I am just an avid blogger and share everything, regardless of degree of crazy :) Anyway, back to raging. I feel the urge to be destructive. To break eve...

It's been a very eventful day that's for sure. Woke up at 8 this morning, nice change from sleeping in. Whenever I wake up early my day just  feels like it goes on forever and I have all the time in the world.  I decided I would bike out to Walmart and get a new speedometer for my bike. Yay! And it works, really good. Wireless is the way to go.  While in Walmart, I decided I wanted to develop some photos.  That was the LONGEST hour of my life. I couldn't find anything to do to occupy my time while waiting for the photos to develop. I am pretty sure the cameras caught me dancing in the isles. At least I supplied someone with some entertainment. After my bike trip, I decided I should repaint my coffee table. It was looking a little dull. Needed some shiny added to it. Busted out the black paint and got to work. Table is all finished now. It looks fantastic!! ZERO paint on the floor. I am muy proud of myself for that. That all took n...

"Your greatest memoies aren't always about where you are or what your doing. Sometimes it's more about who shared that moment with you." I couldn't agree more with that statement. These last few weeks I have had a lot of time  to think about my life and how it has changed. Changed with respect to  relationships either social or romantic, mindset, beliefs, opinions, physical differences, personality, and personal growth either economically and emotionally. In an off and on text conversation with a friend, we were discussing a bit of recent news  that I have been given from a past relation and we were talking about my ablility to stay strong and not just fold. (Of course you will have no clue what I am talking about specifically unless you are in on the discussion, which you are going to get that lucky today. Soon enough it will come out in another posting, but not in this post.) He, my friend, made a statement that He liked me best, as a ...

I am back at it again. Biking everywhere. It is so nice. Within the last 2 months, I have driven my car 4 times. Huzzah! It feels so good to be back out on the road,  zipping passed all the cars that have to stop at stop signs :) Night riding is my favorite. Of course I don't get to work on my tan but it is really nice to ride on roads not crowded with cars. I get to take over all the streets and do pretty much whatever I want. It is fantastic.  There is the occasional idiot driver that yells at me, but  little do they know I cat lonliness is at and an catch up to them faster than they think.  I have only chased down 3 cars this summer, but I intend to get a few more under my belt before the summer is over :] Today I was shuffling through some old sheet music in my madr ès basement  and I found one of my favorite songs from high school. "Peace I Leave With You My Friend" Kinda sentimental. Brings back so many memories. Pe...

I feel like all I have to say for this post is Salt Lake City Gay Pride Festival and that should be enough. But of course it won't be.  Pride was so much fun!! I have never had so much fun in SL,UT For being my first time at the SLC Pride, it was totally legit. Recap of the weekends events. Friday: Leave Pocatello around 7. Immediately check in at hotel and have a costume change. Mini photo shoot. Head out to Club Püre for the evening. Dance the whole night away. Saturday: Get ready. Mini photo shoot. Spend the day at City Creek Mall. Mini photo shoot. Costume change. Out to the Gateway. Dinner at the Radisson. Mini photo shoot. Costume change. House party. Sunday: Early morning. Pride parade. Mini photo shoot. Wendy's. Pride Festival. Sam's Club pretzels. Leave for Pocatello. Of course that is just a massive overview. I am having a hard time remembering details ;) Maybe more on Pride later. Oh we did play some pretty messed up twister ha ha U...