Kissing A Fool.
For beginners, I am listening to Michael Buble. Windows wide open while the rain adds a delicate damper to all sounds from outside. This is bliss. It feel good. I have a book on my bedside table, incense burning, and a dim light coming from a single lamp. I haven't felt so satisfied, solaced, mollified, comfortable, soothed. I just feel...good. I am at ease. Rid of responsibility to think constructively and critically. I can indulge myself in books, music, social and romantic life. Take part in all my guilty pleasures. Finally at rest.
The best feeling is when my heart just tells me that everything is okay. Alleviated from stress. The feeling of being warmed from the inside out.
Today I start a book over again. An Abundance Of Katherines by John Green. A book that just gives me so much pleasure just by the words. My imagination takes flight. Soon to follow, Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. Yet another book that just leaves me at peace.
I hope to find my way into a relationship. Nothing fast. Not like Jeffrey. No moving in with each other. Just, comfortable, for both of us. Who ever this guy may be, I dunno. I have an idea of who I would like it to be. In the way of fate, it could be anyone.
Tomorrow, I start at American Eagle. Success on the Job Front. Excitement and accomplishment burns within.
Sunday, the hardcore diet and vigorous work outs begin again. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again. I am at the point of fear to take my shirt off again. I need motivation. For myself, is no longer enough.
The apartment hunting is at a halt. I have three options.
1. No apartment, new car.
2. No apartment, trip to Rome next summer
3. Apartment, no new car, no trip to Rome.
The decision is hard. I want the ability to leave and travel when I want. I also don't want to miss out on an amazing trip to Europe. Yet, I want to be independent again. Suggestions?
The best feeling is when my heart just tells me that everything is okay. Alleviated from stress. The feeling of being warmed from the inside out.
Today I start a book over again. An Abundance Of Katherines by John Green. A book that just gives me so much pleasure just by the words. My imagination takes flight. Soon to follow, Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. Yet another book that just leaves me at peace.
I hope to find my way into a relationship. Nothing fast. Not like Jeffrey. No moving in with each other. Just, comfortable, for both of us. Who ever this guy may be, I dunno. I have an idea of who I would like it to be. In the way of fate, it could be anyone.
Tomorrow, I start at American Eagle. Success on the Job Front. Excitement and accomplishment burns within.
Sunday, the hardcore diet and vigorous work outs begin again. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again. I am at the point of fear to take my shirt off again. I need motivation. For myself, is no longer enough.
The apartment hunting is at a halt. I have three options.
1. No apartment, new car.
2. No apartment, trip to Rome next summer
3. Apartment, no new car, no trip to Rome.
The decision is hard. I want the ability to leave and travel when I want. I also don't want to miss out on an amazing trip to Europe. Yet, I want to be independent again. Suggestions?
Dearest Jacob!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that those books have attached to you. :)
I'd recommend the trip to Rome.
loves, Nanette
Jacob my dead friend,
ReplyDeleteI suggest being at peace for a little while. You've had a very topsy turvy past little while. There is no rush to make your decision about Rome, car, apartment. I suggest you just spend a little time relaxing first and then think of what would honestly make you the happiest. I can't tell you what would be best because well they all have good and bad points. I trust you'll find your way. Fate has a interesting habit of making sure you get where it wants you to be.
I have a great suggestion--come live with me, Jen, and Jaz!
ReplyDelete