Your Gaze Divided.

This morning I had a great epiphany. I realized that I have been so worried about Jeffrey and what is going to happen with him, when I shouldn't really be concerned. Yes it is okay to be concerned about him, but to the extent of me wanting to do things for him like find him a better paying job, or a cheaper apartment. I am too nice of a person. Don't get me wrong, I still think about helping him all the time, but that will only cripple him. I am creating a crutch and that is not good for either of us. It gives me false hope and just gives him another person to fall back on.

Today I have decided to start anew. Thanks to my friend Evan Heath, I have new clothes, a new watch, new magazines. I have decided I am going to do things for me. I am going to get the things I want to have. I am a strong person. Smart. Attractive. Fun. Exciting. Thoughtful. Romantic. I am a wonderful person and I am going to start acknowledging it. I am going to focus on me for now. I do not want to be in a relationship right now...well not an exclusive relationship. I like 3 guys right now and I want to see where things go with them. I have finally gotten confidence in myself. I know what youre thinking, "Puuuuhlease! You are the most confident AKA conceited person I know." That may be true, but when it comes to dating or guys, my confidence just leaves me.

I am a new person today. I am going to treat myself with respect. I love who I am. I am going to embrace my quarkiness.

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