Last Cup Of Powdered Sugar.

Natalie has been here this whole week and what an exciting and fun filled week it has been already. Her and her family arrived on Saturday night, unfortunately I was working ALL day long and by the time I got off Natalie had already gone to bed. It was alright though, she deserved her rest after that long drive, especially with the kids and husband. 

I still went dancing at Charley's when I got off work, and that proved to be a good experience. I met a whole slue of people. The Gay World is such a silly place some times, particularly in the bar/club scene. We get all dressed up to impress everyone around and try to get people to look at Us. Upon entering the bar, We look around and try to find the people we know the best. We see them on the other side, and in the process of getting to them, We have to say hello to as many people as possible, even if We were just introduced once and don't actually know them. Saying "Hi" to as many people as possible give all the people in the bar a chance to notice Us and see that We are pretty much a big deal. We greet out friends, exchange hugs, which tells people We are chill and are okay with physical contact. Then comes the drinks for the evening. Your drink can tell everyone what Your purpose of coming to the bar is.

• Sex On The Beach, Tie Me To The Bedpost, Lezbo-Flamingo, Washington Apple, Jolly Rancher, Jello Shots, Light Beers, etc... These drinks tell everyone that you want to have a good time tonight. You are playful and just as chipper as can be. You want to dance the night away and just enjoy everyone's company. You are allotted as many of these as you want and no one will think twice about your reason at the bar.
• 7 Cherry Zombie, Black Opal, Margaritas,  All beers*, etc... Generally means you have had a few rough days during the week and You need to let Your hair down and just relax. You aren't opposed to dancing a few songs here and there, but You are not a Dancing Queen by all means. You would rather chat it up with as many people as You can and tell them about Your recent trails. You are allotted 2 of these before people start to think about your intentions for the evening                 *Pitchers of Beer may just be a sign that You have an amazing tolerance to liquor and You need something other than Malibu Rum or Vodka to get Your buzz going. 
• Laser Blaster, B*tch Blaster, Jager Bomb, Tequila shots, etc... Any of these as your first drink usually means one of the following:
• You just want to get laid and don't care what he looks like, just as long as the deed gets done, You are okay with it*.
• Your week was literally Hell and you need something so strong that you won't remember what happened that week.
• It's Your 21st birthday and Your friends will buy You anything.

            *Guys and Gals, you know this is true. Even if you are not literally saying it or directly thinking

it, it crosses you mind several times while you are getting ready and throughout the night.

           You are allotted as many as You want, because everyone is already aware of what Your possible 

           reasoning is. 

Once the drink situation is dealt with, the dancing comes. And WE ALL DO THIS! I do it, I see all my friends do it, I see strangers do it, EVERYONE does it. We all see those huge mirrors on the wall and We ALL check ourselves out in them, or We are watching someone via the mirrors, that way We aren't directly staring at whomever We are interested in. We all try to get some floor space near the mirrors for the Checking-Out-Ourselves-And-Other-People benefits, and because no one likes to dance on the side of the dance floor nearest the tables. If You dance closest the bar and tables, EVERYONE can see You and You know You look ridiculous with Your 90's dance moves. You also know the blond chick at the tall tables against the wall is laughing at You every time You do the "Pony" or Your best attempt at "Shuffling" during Party Rock Anthem. 

Dancing really is the most harmless flirting possible. It is easy to dance with another person very easy to tell that person if you are interested or not. A simple look to Your Girls can signal a Help-Me-Please-This-Guy/Girl-Is-A-Creep-And-I-Don't-Want-To-Dance-With-Them message. The second that look is given, You are surrounded by Your Girls and the creep officially gets the hint and finds some other helpless carcus to prey on. On the other hand, if the Guy/Girl you are dancing with DOESN'T demand the HMPTGIACAIDWTD Look, they are in. Interest is mutual and they have about 3 minutes and 27 seconds to prove themselves worthy. As Will Smith says in the movie Hitch, "[People] relate dancing to sex." We don't all like to admit it, but it is running through ALL of Our heads when We are dancing. 

Then once all the dancing is over and they are playing the last song of the night, if you are one of those Gotta-Hook-Up-Tonight-Cause-I-Am-Desperate people, You are looking for anyone to get up on and take You home. Other wise, You are like every other person and You get all your friends together and dance to last song together. Then you casually walk to Pie Hole of out to Denny's and happily sober up.

I've got this down to a science.