2/30 California Finals

2/30 Fears: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something or someone is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.


Fear No. 1 - I am terrified that I may be unhealthily fat again.
I am so scared that I will lose control and gain all the weight that I have worked so hard to get rid of, back.
As previously mentioned, my senior year of high school, I weighed 247 and was incredibly out of shape. A push up was just a dream. It is pathetic, but true. Most people say they couldn't imagine me being that big, but it was true. I was really really good at hiding my weight. Losing the weight was definitely one of the hardest things I have done, but it was so worth it and I am so scared that one day I will be dumb enough to let all the effort go to waste.

Fear 2. I am terrified of falling and breaking my teeth. It is absolutely an irrational fear, but I am so scared of walking somewhere, tripping and hitting my teeth on the ground. The fear doesn't keep me from doing any kind of activity. I still LOVE to roller skate, run, jump off things, ice skate, swing on a rope. Falling doesn't really scare me, but when I think about hitting my teeth I start to freak out and hyperventilate. I think the fear comes from my childhood. I was always in the dentist and orthodontist as a child. Then one day I was playing the my backyard and fell out of a tree and hit my face on a cinder block and cracked my front teeth. Days later, I was playing on the trampoline after a rain shower and jumped off, slipped on some mud, and fell face first into a sprinkler and chipped my front tooth. I am now the proud owner of a false tooth, and it glows under the black light. 

Fear 3.  my greatest fear is that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Marriage equality is slowly taking a turn for the better, but I fear that equality wont't make it to Idaho or to the state I will reside in by the time I die. I am also afraid that I won't find a person worth marrying. It sucks to think that, but I so scared 

that I will be settling and just marrying someone JUST to get married. I want to be a Father and share the experience of raising a child with another

 man. IF I do get married, how will my family take it? Will they be supportive? Will the be more than willing to come to the wedding? Will they 

treat me and my husband with respect? Not that I am scared of my siblings, because I know they will all be supportive. It is my parents. Will my mom 

allow the wedding to happen? Will she come to it? Will my dad be okay with my spending my life with the man I love? Will they accept him into 

the family and treat him with respect and love? Marriage is a sensitive subject to my parents because of their religion. People say that if I Love

someone, I shouldn't have to have approval from anyone. Love will endure all, but unfortunately, I don't. No acceptance, or support from family and other

loved ones can very well drag a marriage down. It is sad that things like that happen, but they do. Family can either be nutritious or toxic.

other fears consist of:

**drowning**

**clowns**

**bugs in the ears**

**people hiding in my car, closet, under my bed, behind the shower curtain, in the coat closet, in laser tag, behind my love seat, in my storage unit or behind the fridge, so they can murder me.**

**getting below a B+ **

**choking on a hair**