A Library Of Living Life.

Where has the time gone? Over 20 days since my last post.  I feel as if my neglecting school also means neglecting everything else in my life. I have given all my attention to Will and Grace as of late. I think it is time to give some lovin' to everything else in my life that I have let go.  It is home stretch for the semester. 3 more weeks and I am free to  sleep in, make as much Christmas candy as possible, read  every book in my apartment, celebrate, cuddle up while  the snow falls around me and that special someone (hopefully),  get my holiday shopping on, and just everything that comes with  Winter Break. I refuse to think about school for the time I  am out of class. What if  I slip and think about school? I will punish myself with NO hot cocoa for a whole day.  Now we all know that when the stakes are so high,  school will not even cross my mind.  Last week was Thanksgiving break and I,...

"Please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay.Please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay,  please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay,  please be gay...

Well today was the day. I finally turned on my heater.  I am so disappointed in myself that I did not make it until at least November. I even tried to tough it out by putting two comforters in my duvae cover. Negative. I failed.  I realized that I needed to actually turn it on when I was eating some food today that was super hot and when I opened my mouth to breathe I could see my breath. Why did I insist on keeping my apartment so cold? Because I dislike having to rely so much on something  as simple as heat...I am the same way with electricity. Old fashioned I guess. Conservation is the key. Last night was a delightful evening. It was date night with  Alexa and Lakota. I always love these nights we do, and I  wish we would be able to keep them going regularly, but  unfortunately we are all too busy with out own lives to actually keep it scheduled every week. Hopefully we will be able to actually hold these get togethers tw...

The day began out wonderfully... Woke up in warm bed, with a smiling face.  Went to kickboxing and kicked some boxes. Got a card from Natalie. Wearing my Lesbian sweater today. Then I check my email... "Jacob I had to review grades today for the department and find you may be in trouble....come see me so we can figure out a strategy to get your grade up." Great. And this is one of the classes that ACTUALLY counts.  It is all because I miss the stupid journal entries.  How do I miss these easy assignments? NO ONE ever announces them.  I don't have internet access at home, on my phone, or at work so checking my  Moodle is a once a day thing when I get to ISU for a brief period of time.  And of course they are not listed on the syllabus. I know it is my own fault for missing the assignments. I guess I should just be thankful that my professor wants to help me out and see what I can do to get  my grade up in...

I am so stoked for this Halloween! Cannot wait to go to all the haunted attractions! Eeeeek, I just wanna get so scared that I pee!  And this means I gotta have a Rocky Horror party soon :) I love my legs, shoot dang.  I must say I think they are one of the most  attractive parts of my body.  Not to mention I am so happy I have ankles. This week was the Work Week From Hell, and that is putting it lightly. I am so glad that I didn't have to work today. Within the last week I have worked 58 hour along  with going to all my classes. Accomplished, much? I am beginning to see my past come back to me.  In some ways I am scared, but in many ways I am excited. I am also beginning to realize how different my attitude and thought process is from my peers. My decision making apparently isn't as normal as I thought it was. I thought that doing what makes me happy was a good approach to life, but as of late I am one of ...

How in the world am I functioning today? How  will I function tomorrow? Two nights ago I got absolutely zero sleep. Made the mistake of going to Ladies Night and then  skating afterward. Okay not a mistake, it was actually a very great choice :D Then I hung out with a friend for the next few hours, late into the night. It always happens. For some reason we just chat it up into the wee hours of the morning. I gotta figure this out and get more sleep.  Well then yesterday I started my day at 9:03 in the AM and had class until 2:00 and work immediately after class was let out. Work from 2:00 until 9:00 at the Rink and then because I  have a hard time refusing to work, I worked at American Eagle until 2:00 AM. Of course after working so late, I cannot  focus and get delusional therefore, I cannot relax. Sleep didn't occur  until around 6:00....Aaaaand began today at 8:03 AM with work at 10:00 until 5:45. Luckily I get a nice ...

It's Halloween season right? Here is a little scary story... The other day I decided to go hot tubbing and relax before taking a quiz. So I grab my cute little trunks from off the hook outside and put them on. I look down to see a little white spot on the right leg. Just thinking it was something small like a cotton fuzz or some other little static clinging particle. Flick it once, flick it twice..and it is still there. I give it one last brush of with my hand and that little "fuzz" cracks open and 15+ little spiders come crawling out. ALL.OVER.MY.BODY. It was like a scene from Arachnophobia. I lost my shit. I have never been so terrified in my entire life.  I rip off my swimming suit, and just jump in the hot tub naked to make  sure I get all those disgusting bugs off me. Chlorine water is my new best friend. Not to mention I was hot tubbing with a couple gals and I am glad  that seeing a nude Homo isn't too life threatening....

This week has been a week of fashion mishap. Monday, white pants, after Labor Day. Yesterday I wore a brown belt with black shoes. Today, I wore sweats to school for the first time, ever. Even throughout high school, I have never worn sweats. I got  fully dressed every single day even if I felt like crap. Well, that's over. I wonder what other fashion No-nos I will do throughout the week.  I just hope I can stay away from sequins, stretchy pants, and crocks. Luckily I was able to redeem myself Monday by being a Ca-Li-Fornia Gurl :) I guess summer is almost over, so I gotta make the best of the few warm days we have left :) The other day at work, a customer brought this in to me :) It says "Wishing You Rainbows" Oh.My.God I love it!  Yes yes, I complain about my job sometimes, but when you get right down to it, I LOVE it all! I get to meet some really awesome people...that bring me cute little gifts :) Ha ha and of course the...

I just realized how hard it is to break a habit. I for the past 2 months I have been in this habit where I wake up at 7, waiting for a Good Morning text from  one of my friends and then at night I expect a  Good Night text around 9:00.  It is so hard to stay asleep in the morning and even  harder at night not to wait for that text or say it first. Shoot dang, hopefully soon I will be over something so simple. Today I found my way into the Audiology Clinic and messed around with all the equipment for nearly 2 hours :) It was just so much fun!! I love everything I do in there. After freaking out about my hearing, I am happy to report that my hearing is still extremely good! I am so conscious about sounds now... going to Charley's scares me because of how loud the music is and work makes me  even more paranoid for the fact that I am ALWAYS there and  we are ALWAYS playing loud music.  Thank goodness my hearing has not ...

Today has been very productive, which is how my Sunday's USED to pan out. It  feels good to be as productive as before, if not more. Woke up for work, worked my little tush off, did some studying, made Split Pea Soup, Homemade Dinner  Rolls, and a cake with homemade chocolate frosting :) Took 2 quizzes....both 100% of course, did some research on the P.E.A.C.H. and wrote a paper about it with examples,  references, instructions on how to administer it and  how to score it. Shoot dang, I am on fire! I also received a bit of news from 3 different people today.  Some good, some not that good, but better than bad. First, news that I DID forget to pay my rent this month,  better news, I don't owe a late fee because I have been such  a loyal tenant. Second, my mother admitted she was being  ignorant when she cornered me and asked when I decided to  stop trying to do the right thing...when in all reality, it was her ...

The week from Hell is over! This last week I have had  4 quizzes, 2 exams, one paper and work of course.  Not exactly sure how I made it through, but I did. I am ready for a nice stiff drink for the weekend. Oh wait, I have to work. Actually, now that I think about it...I know how I made it through  my week. I began the week with this shirt... ...It is the shirt I bought last semester because I needed something to cheer me up. I was about to take an exam I was totally unprepared for and I bought the pink shirt, wore it for the test...and somehow came out of that test with an A. WHAT? So now I wear it whenever I feel like I am gonna fail a test. It is officially the lucky shirt of  all my CSED classes. Yay. And can I just say that I look muy caliente in this outfit? Shooooooot dang. Okay, so what is happening in my life besides school and work? Umm, nothing really. Just a ton of Will and Gracing it and baking. Ohhh, the Hal...

I dunno how I got so lucky. Sitting in Hearing and Speech Sciences right after taking a quiz about all the muscles of inspiration and expiration and some how I aced it. I guess stressing over it so much last night and this morning actually helped a lot. I can now tell you all about the origin, insertion, innervation and function of the muscles of (in)expiration. Weird to think I actually kinda understand it. But I still make the I'm-So-Stupid-I-Am-Never-Going-To-Understand Face... It has been confirmed again that I love what I am going into.  I have an independent study that I am doing this semester about hearing aids and I L.O.V.E Love it!!! Today I got a shizz ton of different hearing aids :) BTE's, ITC's, CIC's, RIC's, IIC's!  Yay! I love all of this junk! They are so much fun to look at, break apart, and just study. Got myself an awesome mold of an ear so I can practice putting in and taking out the different types of hea...

This semester is definitely going to be one full of trials, I can already feel it. I made it 16 days into the semester before my first break down.  I am gonna call it a win on my part. If I remember correctly, last semester, I broke down after the first 6 days of class. Success and progress have been made.  AND even better, I have made it through this breakdown  alone. I didn't drag some poor soul into my apartment  to sit with me while I cry and pour out everything  that is bothering me, how hard school is, how I cannot  continue, that I might as well just drop out, work is really hard, I don't get enough hours at work to pay my rent, I am gonna lose  my apartment, etc. I just toughed it out on my own, cried a little, and told myself I was being pathetic, cried a little more, and now I am being super productive. Down 3 quizzes, one exam, a paper and a blog.  Maybe I should cry before attempting homework, I think...

I am really starting to dislike these outbursts of feeling I have been getting lately. It is making for situations in my life really hard to deal with.  I dunno why, but it is getting harder to block out what I am feeling.  It used to be so easy. Why has it changed? Because I followed the advice of Brene' Brown. Open yourself to people. Be vulnerable. Allow people to see you are your best AND your worst. It is killing me. I dislike this  feeling of ...well, feeling. These feelings are getting in the  way of being able to help friends with their emotional distress. Anywhoodle, can't just have a serious blog..that would be weird. Yesterday at work I told Sara to change the cheese. If any of you have changed  a bag of cheese, you know the process and how the mechanism that the cheese pours out of must clip into place at the front of the bay in the machine. Well, in order to get the mechanism to clip into place, Sara just  turned th...

Story #1 That was one of the nicest weeks off from work...talking about last week...definitely not this week. There are a few upsides to working at the Rink. First of all, I get to have a full week off from work  to help me settle into my school schedule and make sure I get everything down, class wise. Second best thing (totally being sarcastic) I can get high at work, and get pair for it.  At the end of last week, I was redoing the skating floor. After having the skating floor all  sanded down, it is time to put a fresh coat of varnish on the floor. It doesn't sound that bad yet. The only down fall to this is, there can be absolutely no ventilation in the building. Having any sort of air flow will blow dust onto the floor and could possible ruin the varnish. So...the skating floor of course is massive. It takes nearly 6 hours to roll the whole skating floor. Equation: (Jacob+massive skating floor+high grade varnish)6 hours = Incredibly high ...

That feeling you get when you don't see someone for a while and you  just can't stand it anymore that you FB stalk them for hours. Yep. Just had that moment. With a few people. Shoot dang, why do these people all have to live out of Pocatello. Of course, Natalie is my most FB stalked person ever. I am missing me some Natalie like nobodies business. Watched both videos, and looked at all our photos. November just can't come fast enough!!! As for the other people I am missing, gonna get me some money and make  some visits here real soon. Update: Still keeping the facial hair. And Still doing yoga nearly on a daily basis. I went up to Scout Mountain with the family yesterday. It was super delightful. Nice to see nature still exists. 

As of 3 days ago, I became obsessed with Legally Blond the Musical. If I wasn't Gay before, I am now. It is definitely  one of my all time, hands down, totes magoats, favsies ever. Check it out on the pronoun channel. As for how this week has been panning out? It has been a load of stress. Already. I am so far behind and it is only the third day of class. Shoooooooot dang boi. I just need this weekend you come so I can get caught up on everything BEFORE I start going back to work Yikes..Oh it has been very nice, the Rink has been closed this whole week so that allows me to settle into the whole student life again. But, it is definitely taking everything outta me right now. As for the photo...I am loving the facial hair. I think I look ultra sexy and damn right doable. But I need to invest in a different trimmer. One that lets me trim it without taking off all the hair.  The trimmer I have now works wonders if I want to take the hair off all the way ...

Omigod, omigod you guys!! School begins tomorrow. I am slightly freaking out. Just slightly. I am relieved that all my credit garbage has been worked out. I am not at 16 credits :) Huzzah. The only problem is how sucky my schedule is. Like every other semester, I have at least an hour in between almost every class. Ugh, I know that I say I will study between the classes...but we all know what will actually happen. Facebook. Blogger. Email. Pinterest. Allrecipes.FIGFCU .com.net.org. As it is a new semester I will hopefully approach it as a new beginning and tackle everything that will be thrown my way. I have signed up for an aerobic kickboxing class AND a yoga class :) I gotta keep these limbs firm and flexible. Oh, check this out...see that word in the middle of the VA P1 purple block.. THAT'S MY GORGEOUS NAME!!! Yeah it is official. I am on the clinic schedule :) Makes me smile. I am kinda cool like that. Natalie called today. It is always a joy talk...

It has been an interesting previous 48 hours.  Interesting to me, not to anyone else of course.  It may seem quite normal to everyone else, but to me it has been a fairly interesting 2880 minutes, give or take a few. (Events not in time sequence) Finally receiving a phone call from the cop that left his card on my car. Meaning the insurance will hopefully go through and I'll get a lovely fat check :) Made some delicious lemon squares, then dropped them on the floor, of course lemon side down. Realizing school starts in 3 days, and not really panicking. Standing in the shower, completely happy. A different happy from in-a-good-mood happy. Just simply enjoying my life. No forced or artificial smile. Discovering just how much I care about certain individuals and placing their  dreams and happiness above mine. I actual like mustard. A man walked into work wearing my ring, and I wanted to jump through the window and take it. I kno...

It's been a pretty eventful beginning of the week. Sunday: I went to the dinner with the Perry family...refer to previous post and you will know all about the dinner...well for the most part. Monday: I spend the day in Idaho Falls. I got free tickets to the Chukars baseball game from  Brad. It was such a nice getaway. Although it was only 45 miles away and in Idaho Falls, it was nice. (ps, I hate IF) I am trying the whole facial hair thing. Gonna keep it for a while and see what happens.  Although I don't really get the whole sport of  baseball, even though I played for 2 years. But I do enjoy watching all the boys run around in tight pants :) Okay, next photo...look at with caution.  It was supposed to be an innocent little joke between my sister. You know that whole game where you create a circle  with your thumb and index finger...and when someone looks at it you get to punch them. Well I made the symbol......

This post brought to you by, Papa Murphy's.  They don't know it, but they supplied me with the fun  Mini Murph. It's a delightful little DIY pizza :) Sara and I made some of the most delicious pizzas, ever. This time, original pizza, next time, heart shaped. Tonight I spent the evening with 6 of the most amazing people I have met. Some delightful customers from the rink invited me over for Sunday dinner. I have grown an affinity for these people. Lance and Jessica Perry and their adorable daughter Vivian. Come to find out she is sisters with one of the members of the Gay community, that I don't know very well...Cherese Farmer :) I also got to meet 2 more of their sisters. And the whole family is wonderful. Just great company. How delightful. We got a chance to meet and actually get to know each other. Anyway, Dinner was absolutely stellar. We had a great BBQ and I was in charge of the dessert. I was already wearing a red shirt, so I thought ...

recent obsessions 1. yoga. completely obsessed. i go to classes every tuesday  and thursday. and do it in the morning alone monday, wednesday, friday, saturday.  with the occasional nude yoga sundays. yoga does it for me. 2.amy winehouse. dead, but her music is amazing. i listen to her every day. album after album. she's got my ipod on replay. most current favorite ....  before you press play, get a glass of wine, or beverage  of choice. sink into your favorite comfort place. and close your eyes. 3. jam skating. it rules my life. my legs are covered in bruises my back is so sore. my arms are jello. but i.love.it.